5 Reasons Desperate Housewives is Hard to Watch*
5. It's trying too desperately to be desperate...
Desperate Housewives has been known for its soap opera-y like quality, where every twist and turn was shocking and more dramatic than any one could have imagined. Now it's more like, "Hey, how much random sex and violence can we add without going too far?" The story lines have always contained sex and violence, but they are no longer unique. In season one, Mary Alice killed herself and left her friends with solving the mystery of why.
She narrated and posed intriguing questions and just when you thought they might be onto something, another twist intervened. Since then, things have gotten increasingly less intriguing. With each passing season, there have been a ridiculous number of murders by core characters, an insane amount of adultery, and more new neighbors than a haunted apartment building. Yes, these things are high on drama, but after so much repetition, can you blame a viewer for wanting more? I'm not saying these things have to disappear entirely, but maybe just have a genuinely compelling story-line, rather than something generated purely for its shock value. Plus every season is advertised as "more desperate" than the ones before.
4. There seems to be a lack of continuity...
When we learned about Gaby's stepfather and all the abuse he put her through when she was younger, we were made to believe that he was dead. Part of Gaby's therapy, even, was to visit his grave and read him a letter. And then he shows up. While this isn't exactly the first time a TV show has brought someone back to life, it still brings up another question. If Gaby's stepfather, Alejandro, was believed to be dead by the authorities, how is it that he winds up as a missing persons file on Detective Chuck's desk? Even though he was not actually dead, he was still technically dead, and that means unless someone knew his secret and reported him missing, the police never would have known about his disappearance. I think this twist required more explanation.
Also, this season Susan started taking an art class. In one episode, the teacher says that he is going to force them to paint in the nude. Later on, Susan whines to Mike about how she has to get comfortable with being so vulnerable and naked in front of people. Isn't this the same woman who was part of an Internet, cleaning-porn business last season? I get that with the Internet, things are anonymous, but the recent episode made no effort to clarify that distinction, and really, her Internet situation didn't stay anonymous for long.
3. There are entirely too many missed opportunities for jokes...
In a recent episode, Bree accidentally turns a soup kitchen for the homeless into a hangout for hipsters. When she realizes this, she decides to kick them out with the line, "Please, pack up your laptops and smart phones and go." What? Laptops, OK I guess. Hipsters like blogging and such. But smart phones? Seems a bit redundant. This was a great opportunity for an extra joke about these weirdos who have taken over a haven for hobos. Any of these references would have been acceptable (list from CRACKED.com):
- Indie music
- Pabst Blue Ribbon and Miller High Life
- Expensive Vintage footware
- Ironic shirt or trucker hat
- Clove cigarettes
- Digital camera
- Totally Retro Mustaches
- Liberal arts degree
2. It has become very predictable...
The other night, while watching DH, I said, "I bet Susan walks into class naked and no one else is." My sister added, "I think they sent an e-mail, but she didn't get it for some reason." And then that is EXACTLY what happened. At another point in the episode, Lynette walks up to a guy outside of a bar. He is wearing a vest. She begins to hand him her valet ticket and describe her keys to him. Of course, this guy turned out to not be the valet guy. I saw it coming as soon as she approached him. Some things won't change - Lynette will always have trouble with her children, Bree will never loosen up, Gaby will always have a shallow streak, and Susan will never get a clue. These are their characters, but after seven seasons, we get it. We don't need a lesson on Gaby in which she tries to solve her problems with a spa day. (By the way, we called that one too, where she buys massages, etc. for the other ladies in the PTA.)
Occasionally, this show will find a way to surprise me and it used to be great at the dramatic twists and turns. But lately, it seems like I'm always one step ahead, knowing exactly how things will end up before we get there. My sister and I even joke that we really only need to see the "Previously on Desperate Housewives" each week and don't need to bother watching the full episode to keep up with what is happening.
1. Susan is naked - ALL THE TIME...
I swear it's in Teri Hatcher's contract that she has to be scantily clad at least once per episode.
4 Reasons I Will Keep Watching Anyway
4. I still care about some of the characters...
I want Lynette and Tom to work out their marriage troubles. I don't really believe they would have split up in the first place (again with the drama for its own sake), but I want to keep watching to see what happens. I still care about Carlos and Gaby and all the crazy situations that girl gets herself into. I can't honestly say that I care about Susan, but Mike is still interesting.
3. It is still a pretty funny show...
Sometimes this show can still make me laugh - a harsh one-liner from Gaby, sarcasm from Lynette. Even aside from the dialogue, Bree's clueless-ness at how she had changed the soup kitchen was a very funny situation. I only wish that they would have explored that more. Basically, I'm trying to say that even though I find error in the missed jokes, there are still plenty of funny parts to go around.
2. There are minor characters whose brief appearances are worth the trouble...
My major argument here revolves around Karen McCluskey. Who doesn't love Kathryn Joosten? Well, I certainly do anyway. On DH specifically, though, Mrs. McCluskey is frequently a voice of reason and simultaneously a necessary comic relief. She does not get nearly the screen time she deserves. Spin-off, anyone?
Also, the addition of Vanessa Williams as Renée Perry has been very welcome. I miss Wilhelmina, of course, but Renée is a fun and fancy-free character with little consequence. To see some of her funniest stuff, check out the season seven finale where she has an entire relationship - first flirtation to horrible break-up - with one of her waiters at a dinner party. And she is unbelievably terrified of midgets.
This is the eighth and final season of Desperate Housewives. I've put seven years in already, why not go ahead and finish it up? And even though it may be clear that I am disappointed in the recent installments, DH will always have a special place in my heart. It was one of the first series I watched week in and week out and it was one of the first shows that was appointment TV for me (although, I think my mom was the ringleader in this case). Anyway, I will continue watching Desperate Housewives until there are no more episodes to watch. And then I'll move on to something else.
Disclaimer: I was a bit harsh on Susan up above and I want to be clear that it is the character, Susan, that I do not like - I have nothing against Teri Hatcher.
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